To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize