I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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