is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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