i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
