in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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