is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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