just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
