Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
