I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
