Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
