Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
