I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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