tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
