no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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