your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Drunk is not a location!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
