he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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