I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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