He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
