you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
