cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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