doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
