Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
