I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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