u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
