I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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