Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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