If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I would ride that face into the sunset
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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