Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
