Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
