I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
