Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
