She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
