Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
