I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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