false alarm. still invincible.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
