my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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