My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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