Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
