Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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