dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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