Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Someone came in the potted fern
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize