"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
