so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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