I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
