I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize