Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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