Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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