I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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