Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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