Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
