Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
