Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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