I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
