It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
