Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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