How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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