We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is classic penis vs brain.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
