My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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