Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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