that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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