I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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