sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
