I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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