i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
