the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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