brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
