if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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