sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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