Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
