Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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