I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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