just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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