Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
