Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
