U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
