I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
