I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
