I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
