My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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