real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
